It's Easier to Say When You're Out of Breath
by Idothisfortheladies
Summary: An angsty, Alex/Stan oneshot.


**A/N:**

**I don't own any of these characters or, you know, anything that looks familiar.**

**If you can Google it, it isn't mine. **

**Other than that, this is just a short oneshot. Might be a little OOC, but whatever. **

Stan has never found an easy way to say "I'm sorry", be it genuine or otherwise. Usually, he hits and smirks and, maybe, doesn't hit and smirk the next time around. Or, he doesn't make a joke. Or, he doesn't make an attempt to make a joke.

Yeah, he isn't the best at verbally (or otherwise) communicating his guilt. Except, of course, for right now, when all he can manage between kisses is soft apologies that mean a lot more than the scrawny and somewhat nerdy kid standing before him thinks.

"I'm sorry." Because, yeah, he is a shithead. He knows it, Alex knows it, the whole school knows it. And he's sorry for that, because he has no real reason to be.

"I'm so sorry." Because he taped Alex to a toilet which, admittedly, wasn't cool. He admits that, while pretty funny at the time, was no way to treat a guy with lips this soft.

"I'm sorry, Alex." Because he's never bothered to use the name before, just "nerd" or "geekoid" or "lamo." All of them can be sort of insulting, when said in the right way, though he says them with a soft fondness now. Where would he be without his geekoid?

Alex has no real intentions of accepting the apologies or even acknowledging them, if how desperate his kisses are getting is any indication. Unless this is his way of forgiving, like touch is his way of showing that it's all ok. Stan has never bothered to get to know the kid, so he has no real way of knowing if Alex is just as bad at verbal communication as he is. It wouldn't be surprising, considering how many times he's seen the kid stutter his way through a conversation.

"I shouldn't be such an asshole." This comes out like an apology and goes hand in hand with a previous statement that Stan forgets as Alex's hands start to wander. He thinks he said something about being an asshole, or maybe he just thought it. Alex breathes, short and shallow against his mouth, and makes a sound that could be recognition of the fact or, more likely, agreement.

"It's just, I've never been anything else."

Alex laughs a little and presses his lips to the hollow at the base of Stan's neck, making the taller boy moan between his confessions. If it weren't for the fact that they could be caught, he would strip the younger boy right here. And yet, there's something almost too innocent about the blue eyes. Stan isn't interested, at least not fully, in anything more than this.

"I was nice when I was younger."

"How young?" Alex breathes and Stan grins.

"Too young."

Alex laughs again and pulls back, looking Stan in the eyes. He doesn't say anything, just looks and waits, until Stan sighs and grows serious again.

"I shouldn't be a jerk, I know." He's repeating himself like the jock he is, but Alex doesn't seem to mind. He wraps his arms around Stan's waist and presses his ear close to Stan's chest and sighs. A long, deep sigh that sounds like the release of a few years worth of Stan induced Hell.

"You shouldn't." He agrees and Stan wraps his own arms around the shorter, younger, better teen in response.

"I'm sorry for making you miserable."

"It's ok." Alex states simply, clinging even tighter.

"You never fought back."

"I'm a lover, not a fighter." Alex says wryly and Stan laughs at the joke. It's true, especially now, because there's not a single bone in Alex's body geared to hate. He was so ready to love someone, even when that someone turned out to be Stan.

"You're better than me."

"Not if you stop taping people to toilets."

"I only taped you to a toilet."

"Then you're getting better already."

It's stated like a fact, though it isn't really true, and Stan tilts Alex's face back up just to kiss him again. This one is gentle and sweet, but goes on for a long time. Stan likes the way it lingers on his lips, in his mouth, even after the other set of lips is gone. Alex smiles up at him, eyes bright, and Stan shrugs a little uncomfortably. What is he supposed to say now?

"You know, you could say sorry to everyone else." Alex suggests and Stan shakes his head.

"Why don't you say sorry for me?"

"I doubt they'd believe me."

"Even if they saw this?" Stan spreads his arms to imply their current state and Alex shakes his head. He looks caught between laughing and that serious tone he gets when he's thinking about something. Stan likes the look, it makes him want to kiss Alex again, but it's better to just listen. He can learn a lot by just listening.

"I don't think so." Alex finally lets the words fall from his mouth and it kind of hurts to hear them, because he's basically told Stan there's a better chance of a world wide peace agreement than some sort of forgiveness.

"I guess I figured that." Stan muses. Alex merely stays silent, eyes trained on the floor. When Stan tries to kiss him again, he pulls away.

"You were an asshole." He begins, running his fingers up and down his forearm, "But I guess you're pretty ok now."

Stan feels a mixture of disappointment and total confusion as Alex leaves, closing the door behind him. He doesn't understand what ok means, or if it's a good thing that he's pretty ok, or if he's even been forgiven. He thought he was, when Alex was holding on to him, but now that the feeling of soft lips is gone he doesn't know anymore.

Stan stays standing for a few more minutes before leaving as well, closing the door softly behind him.

He's never been much for saying sorry, but even he has to admit, the words are a lot easier to get out when you're out of breath.


End file.
